I suspect that the topic of this blog may be a theme for many of us 12wbt’ers. What on earth is with the six-week slump? As you may have gathered from my many hilarious and chuckle-inducing blogs, I have tried a lot of different weight loss programs. They have all been vastly different but one common thread joins them all in a most unholy matrimony. The dreaded six-week slump.
Seems no coincidence that self sabotage is the topic of this weeks mindset video does it? As someone who stood at the kitchen bench after work tonight eating half a loaf of freshly baked ciabatta bread, I can tell you that the devil is not prancing around Georgia looking for a soul to steal or engaging in a rather un-lord of darkness like violin battle. He is reclining on my right shoulder with a smug, carb fuelled smile on his face feeling quite content after a binge on plain bread. PLAIN BREAD!! What the hell is with that? I don’t even like bread as a rule.
I have found from my experience that somewhere around the halfway mark of a weight loss program or challenge I enter into this strange parallel universe where I literally turn into a doubting Thomas of downright biblical proportions. I doubt my fitness has improved even though the 8 hours I spent hauling heavy objects and busting my ass today felt much easier than it did 6 weeks ago. I doubt that my diet has been clean enough even though I know that I have followed my plan to the letter. I convince myself that a loaf of bread is going to remedy that when all it does is cause my initial doubt to become self-fulfilling prophecy. I doubt that I can feel any real benefits from quitting smoking even though I can tell quite clearly in the quality of my singing and my breath control alone that it has helped dramatically. Don’t despair though, even though I am doubting the quitting I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will never go back.
It’s the devil. The devil made me do it! The six-week slump lures him from the darkest depths of hell and invites him to sit on my shoulder and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. To test my resolve and see what I am made of. Well I may have him beat this time. After my carbo-loaded bread-a-palooza tonight, I realised that the wolf does indeed disguise himself in sheep’s clothing. The devil can sneak up on you and before you know it he has deck chair unfolded and cocktail in hand. Why do we let him do so much harm before we literally send him back to hell in a handbasket? Is it because whether we admit it or not, there is always a small part of us attracted to the bad boys, the rebel?
Maybe so, but herein lies my strategy. From here on in, when the devil drops by he will always take on the appearance of the worlds most unattractive man. Ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu…playing the role of ” Devil”…..Mick Jagger. Next time Mick Jagger tries to whisper in my ear that the fate of the western world depends on me eating that entire box of Krispy Kremes I will be far too grossed out by those big rubbery liver lips to want to eat anything. And if Mick goes on vacation? Steven Tyler, Step right up.
There you have it…problem solvered. Oh, and for those of you wondering what the angel on my other shoulder looks like? That is Captain Jack Sparrow and if he wasnt;t spending so much time weaving about wondering why the rum was always gone then he might have been a little more effective in keeping the devil at bay and the bread out of my digestive system…..Just sayin Jack!