Doesn’t anyone know the way out of this labyrinth?

Major fail today. And boy do I mean major. It really just ended up getting way out of hand and along the way I learned that my husband is apparently not yet over his inability to say no to me. Today was yet another weigh in and that was the first epic failure of the day. third week in a row with no weight loss. No gains either but a 3 week plateau after only 6 kilos lost? You have got to be kidding me. I know Michelle talks about not relying on motivation etc etc, blah blah but if she has a mind set video about how to stay positive when NOTHING is working then I would love to bloody hear it.

The whole week I have been stressing about weigh in. I knew that there was a possibility I was going to still be stagnant. And then, like a visit form an ex-boyfriend you really wanted to leave well behind in the past, an old habit of mine crept back in to my routine. Over thinking. Once i get caught in its clutches, nothing is safe from scrutiny. Although i stuck with my program for the week, every waking moment was consumed with thinking about the food, the exercise, was it really right for me? Too many calories or too few? Training too hard or not hard enough? I was seriously driving myself crazy.

So I gave up, not on the program, just on the thinking. I literally stressed myself into being bed ridden for an entire day feeling like absolute garbage so I just had to stop and remind myself that what will be will be. Unfortunately, I did not have a plan for what I would do if the scales had refused to co-operate for another week in a row. And that leads me to today’s epic fail.

I have spending more time in our business lately. It has put me a little out of the comfort zone I have had at home for the last few months. I should have known today was going south when I left for work without any lunch or healthy snacks in my bag. A new supermarket had opened up in the street which had the smell of sausage sizzle wafting into the shop all afternoon. I had skipped breakfast, shock horror, and was starving.

Anything I suggested to Hubby got an automatic nod of the head and we proceeded to carb up like carbs were going out of fashion. Well, I can tell you that I immediately regretted it. I mean seriously, home brand white bread with a sausage on it? My stomach was in knots and as soon as it was down it made a concerted effort to get back up again.

I felt like I was stuck in that scene from Labyrinth where Jennifer Connely eats the poisoned peach and forgets about looking for the baby. I forgot about weight loss and exercise for a moment and was stuck in this carb loaded coma nightmare of David Bowie in obscenely tight pants and a rather unnecessary and over sized cod piece.

Sleep wanted to make its way to the top of my priority list in spite of the fact that it was 12pm, my body felt as fatigued as if it were 12am. And then the strangest thing of all happened. I started craving diet coke. I mean really jonesing for the crap. My slip up started a chain reaction of bad digestion and weird, unhealthy cravings. I was on a merry go round in the circus from hell and I wanted off…big time.

It is now 11:05 pm, the day was a write off, I feel too sick to sleep yet and I am madly racking my brain on how to put a positive twist to this blog with no real luck. I guess I will leave you with this…..If my bad experience today helps you to stay on track and avoid a similar episode then I guess that is a positive out of a negative and that has got to count for something right?

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4 thoughts on “Doesn’t anyone know the way out of this labyrinth?

  1. felicitye says:

    Hope today is a better day for you!

  2. Dani says:

    I understand the awful mind games happening in your head right now, but you’re honestly doing so well. I wish I’d lost 6kg (and I’ve had a 5 week plateau). It is goddamn hard, and you do wonder why you put in all this effort for little reward, but we often work hard without receiving immediate recognition. And don’t stress about putting a positive twist on things. Not everything needs to rainbows and sunshine.
    Despite my meagre numbers on the scale, I keep going because I know I need to change my life and change it forever – not just 12 weeks. I hope this helps. (If not, at least know that I’ve been stressing and have given up at times too, so you’re not alone.)

  3. sharonseidel says:

    i am so feeling this. seeing those scales refuse to move really sucks. stay the course and know that it is not just you….not much practical help i know but it will change if you stick with it. i have been floating between 72 and 73 for weeks now, want nothing more than to see 71.something appear on the little screen. measurements next week, hopefully the cms will tell a better story 🙂

  4. Louise says:

    Missing your blog. Hope you’re well x

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